UPDATED: Scroll to end…
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV
It’s been 10 weeks.
10 weeks of ups & downs.
- The joys of bringing home a precious new baby.
- The unbelievable heartache of losing a precious cousin & nephew.
10 weeks of busy.
- Multiple weekly therapy appointments
- Precious time with Tenney
- Thanksgiving with dear friends
- The hardest funeral we’ve ever attended
- Another induction
- Adjusting to new baby
- Christmas & New Year’s home with sick kids
- Asthma flare-ups
- Attempting to get some homeschooling done most days
- Reminding Ian to work on therapy exercises
- Long talks, some of them hard…
- Post-holiday sales shopping
- Getting a puppy!
10 weeks of trying not to worry about Ian’s next scans.
10 weeks of trying not to think about “what if?”
- What if that “area of concern” has grown/spread?
- What if there are new “areas of concern”?
- What if the cancer is back?
10 weeks of continuing to learn about trusting Him in those deep down ways, ways that are learned through deep trials, dark trials, hard trials, when there really is no other choice.
If I don’t trust Him, then what? Panic. Fear. Aching uncertainty that will eat away at a mother’s heart, and spread through the hearts of her husband and children.
That’s not a good option.
So I choose trust.
He’s got this. He’s got us.
He will carry us through, no matter what today’s scans show.
UPDATED: Stable! No change in the “area of concern”! No new spots! The only new concern was some new bulging of discs in his lower back, which, as long as he is not experiencing pain, they will just monitor… Thank you all for your many prayers for our Ian!!
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Praying for clear scans today!!
Praying and praying for you Ian.
Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
It must be very scary for you. Congratulations on your new baby. I’ll be praying for you all!
Wow. WOW!!! I am looking at your blog, and I am just amazed. AMAZED at ALL you’ve gone through in the last ten weeks. I cannot imagine. I saw your blog on the blogroll from BEECH. My heart is so heavy for you, and when I see you I just want to hug your neck. I’ll probably start crying too. Praying for you and your family.
I am so thankful that you have Jesus to lean on in these times. He is truly the only way we can get through times like these. Going through cancer with my husband tought me to trust in the Lord in a way I never had before. Knowing he is with Jesus in heaven is the only way that I can be ok.
I’ll be praying for your family.
Sounds like some difficult weeks. I love the verse, proverbs 3:5-6. That’s my dad’s favorite verse. will pray for your family.
See you in a couple of weeks at Beech
Allison,
My son, Zach (now17), was dx with medulloblastoma on 2/28/2011. He had a complete resection with severe PFS resulting. Following a month in ICU, we spent 3 months at rehab. During that rehab time we had set back after set back including having to have a treach put in. (it was removed after proton radiation was completed) Treatment was completed in March of 2012. So far all scans are NED. Zach has the same type of double vision issue as Ian does but is helped by prism lenses until he can have the corrective surgery. The worst of the PFS for Zach is that severe ataxia means that he cannot walk and that his voice is slow and response time is delayed. Cognitively he is doing well but emotionally he is in a tough place, having to deal with these issues. We keep faith that some day with enough therapy, Zach will walk and sing again. (he had been chosen for All-State Chorus when he was diagnosed) I understand the fear that you fight every day. I am praying for Ian and your family and for stable scans.
I am still continuously praying for your family. Congrats on Daniel…he is beautiful. Trusting in Him for Ian.
Congratulations on the birth of your precious new baby boy! He is absolutely beautiful. Continued prayers for Ian as scan time is here once again. Praying for continue healing and also for comfort in the loss of precious Tenney.
You are an amazing woman of God and I will keep you in my daily prayers.
I’m embarrassed by how long it’s been since I’ve stopped by
Forgive me? You’ve been through so much. I am so terribly saddened to hear about the loss of your nephew and then wildly thrilled to hear of the birth of your baby boy. Oh, and hey, the Lord finally answered our prayers for another one (after ten years!) and I’m 20 wks pg! So many ups and downs. You come to mind and prayer often. When will you have the results of Ian’s latest scan? Will be praying specifically that they turn out well.
~Karen