an ordinary mom

Multitude Monday 301-310

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:36:00 +0000

301. a 10 yr old son's heart full of righteous indignation every time he reads of the persecution of believers in The Voice of the Martyrs newsletters, he sees the wrong and prays/pleads for what's right

302. a teenager who sees the sin and brokenness in our society in the daily headiness, and who understands the importance of strengthening his walk with Him if he is to navigate these treacherous waters

303. being able to be there (in spirit & prayer) for a dear sister in Christ going through the heartache of loss, as hard as such a thing is, I'm thankful that because of my own experiences I can have a deeper empathy for others as they walk through their dark valleys

304. tissue paper flowers, I'm sure it won't be long before I see them as clutter and toss them to make room for the next crafty decorations, but for now I'm thankful for the tissue paper flowers that signal our eager anticipation of spring

305. longer days with more sunshine, melting the layer of ice and snow that had crept over more and more of our driveway, our sidewalk, and my energy levels...

306. patches of old grass peeking through, and the sense of urgency to enjoy the last bits of cool air and wintry white stuff before the seasons really do change and we begin to grumble about the heat (and humidity!) and mosquitoes (our unofficial state bird)

307. 9 & 7 yr old girls that can brush their own hair yet will often still ask Mom for help with some braids or a sweet little bun

308. 5 & 3 yr old girls with many more years of needing & wanting help with hair, it's so nice to feel needed in such a simple way

309. a stack of good books

310. years of old pictures and the sweet laughs and giggles of children as they look back on themselves and their brothers and sisters and Mom and Dad, our lives together and our looks through the ages, I remind myself often- take more pictures!

It's overcast today- I notice how spoiled I've become by several days of sunshine, and I notice how obviously the lack of sun affects me. My tendency is to turn inward, to sigh deep sighs of something less than contentment, and to muddle through my dreary days, but I know that is far less than the best I can do. As a Mother, I strive to do better for my children's sake, and yet as a Christian I need to strive to do better for much more than my sake, an for far more than my children's sake. I need to, I can do, better for the sake of Him whose Name I claim. And so I turn my eyes to see my world in another light, in a light that sees my everything as something from Him, and something to be truly thankful for, and it's changing me. From the inside out, it's changing me in such a good way.

Tissue Paper Flowers- Think Spring!

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:05:00 +0000

It's time to think spring! With temps climbing up around 40 degrees (yes, that's warm up here), and more minutes of sunlight every day, it's finally time to take down the snowflakes, the snowmen, the scenes of winter wonderland, and even the tiny sweaters that speak the language of ice and snow. It's time to bask in the sunshine and enjoy thoughts of blooms!

At Macy's Flower Show last spring, there were kids' activities set up in the isles of FAO Schwarz (very strategic, don't you think?) and one of the things that we liked the best were the tissue paper flowers. They had little kits made up, with pre-cut tissue papers and a pipe cleaner (chenille stem, whatever you want to call them...) all ready to go.

We brought home a couple extra sets and they have become the template & inspiration for our first spring crafts this year.

These flowers are so fun and easy to make! You can make them with bright and wild colors or soft and sweet- whatever suits for fancy or whatever you find to work with.

Our original flowers were made with tissue paper rectangles measuring approximately 9" x 11", but 8x10, 7x9, 6x8, or even 5x7 will work... I didn't even measure our latest ones. I simply folded the stack of tissue papers (I used 5 sheets, you can use more or less to get different fullness in your flowers) in half and cut along the fold. Then I cut each half in half again, and then again. This makes 8 flowers of equal size.

Once you have your rectangles, you fold them accordion style, like the paper fans we all learned to make as a child. You can leave the ends alone, or you can round them off like I did on our light flowers, or you can cut points like the bright one on a previous post.

Next, take a pipe cleaner and wrap around your folded tissue paper, in the center, and twist the end around itself to secure.

Then comes the hard part- except that it's not really hard, you just have to be careful not to rip the tissue paper, which you will do if you pull to fast and hard. Carefully start separating the layers of tissue paper to create the fullness of the flower.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (Except don't really lather or rinse- just repeat. Wet tissue paper is a disaster of monumental proportions. It isn't pretty. It's not the look we're going for.) Make one, make a few, or make an entire big bouquet...

Enjoy!

Our Hopie Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 21:24:00 +0000

H is for hearty, she has always been so strong, even when sick with RSV and her asthma, she has weathered it all so well, it takes a lot to get this girl down...

O is for observant, she has a keen and discerning way of discovering the world around her and she finds delight in so much of it, perhaps her O should be for optimistic as well...

P is for playful, she loves to have fun, and she loves to play hard and strong (I wish I had half of her energy!)

E is for enthusiastic, she is a girl who puts her all into everything, and her enthusiasm is contagious- just ask those who know her!

Our Hope turned 5 last month, and what a whirlwind her 5 yrs have been. I should have known this child would have a great big bunch of personality when she burst onto our scene after about 45 minutes of labor, all 9 pounds and 12 ounces of her! When she was hospitalized with RSV at 6 weeks old, I truly think it was her robust healthy size that helped her hold her own against that awful virus which also affected her sister and left the 2 of them with some chronic asthma issues. She was such a trooper last fall, when she ended up in the PICU at Children's Hospital with RSV again, and pneumonia, and asthma flare-up.

Hope is a child who can always make us laugh. She says the funniest things I've ever heard come forth from the mouth of a child. I remember laughing so hard one day, while at dinner with the family at my parents', and I said the oft' said "I really should write all of these down!" and my Dad, still laughing quite hard at whatever her latest quip had been answered "No, you need video... because no one would believe you..." which made all of us laugh so much more. It's so true, some of the things she says are so profoundly funny, that it's hard to believe a 3, 4, or now 5 year old could even come up with that. (You may notice that most of the funnies of my kid quotes posts have been Hopisms...)

I look forward to the next 5 years with her, and the 5 years after that, and as many years as the Lord gives us!

Thank you, Lord, for our precious Hope, for the way she makes us smile and laugh, and the way she touches and manages to melt our hearts each and every day. Thank you for her enthusiasm and zest for life, may it never grow old and tired. Thank you for the chance to be her Mommy. I humbly pray that You would grant me, daily, wisdom and guidance that I may be used by You to mold and shape her little heart and life, that she would grow into the woman that You would have her to be.

Multitude Monday 291-300

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 14:56:00 +0000

291. children who color so many darling pictures that we don't have enough room on the walls to display them and they need special folders to store the archives...

292. a teenager who volunteered to stay home with a sick toddler (not too sick, but enough to not bring out to play with friends) and insisted I bring the others to our scheduled play date, as they had all worked so hard all week to get their lists checked off, their work all done...

293. seeing my children work so hard all week, with their eyes on a prize they can really push themselves, they did great, my Mother heart beams...

294. morning sunshine making it so much easier to get out of bed each day- I have never been a morning person, having a sleep disorder doesn't help one bit, and neither does a crazy month at my husband's jobs...

295. more birds tweeting each day, the suet rapidly depleting from the feeder

296. thoughts of gardening, I'll grumble in the heat and when the weeds take over, but for now the thoughts of our long winter melting into spring green keep my smiling in anticipation

297. tissue paper flowers

298. sweet toddler grins

299. big brothers enjoying play time with their youngest brother, the contagious laughs spreading through the room like wildfire

300. 8 yr old girl turning 9, last year of single digits, she may be growing up too fast for my heart to comprehend, but I am so thankful for 9 years with my oldest daughter, my mini me, the one who has shown me more about myself than I ever wanted to know, but I needed to know so much...

Sunday Hymn- Great Is Thy Faithfulness

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not:
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

CHORUS
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

CHORUS

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow-
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

CHORUS

***
An all-time favorite of mine, to play, to sing, to hum, to pray...

He is faithful, His faithfulness is great- if only I could be half as faithful as He is.
There is no shadow of turning in Him- unlike in me. I turn far too much.

He changes not- I wish I could say the same for myself.
His compassions, they fail not- oh, how many times have my compassions failed? Too many times, I know it, and I'm not proud of it. If I want to become more like Him, I need to become more compassionate. I need to open up my cold heart to the warmth of His compassion, working in me and through me, today, and every day...

As He has been, He forever will be- He has, after all, been perfect and good from the beginning. I, on the other hand, have not. I was born a sinner, so far from perfect and good, and I am glad that as I have been I will not forever be. I am changing. I am a work in progress. One day I will be made perfect and complete in His presence. What a day that will be!

Here is one of my favorite versions of this song. If you like a relaxing and beautifully played hymn now and then (or all day) to relax and bless your soul, I really think you will enjoy this one!

Junk Out 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

Let's see, this week I passed on another box of baby boy clothes to my youngest sister, and I came to the realization that the new duvet cover that I finally got onto my bed just wasn't as nice as it looked. It sure looked nice, and it sure was a great deal. That's why I've kept it this long, in my closet...

While cleaning out my closet, there it was. I remembered that shopping day, at Target, at least a year ago (nope, not kidding), maybe more. I wasn't there for a duvet cover. I was there for the usual things like diapers, toilet paper, and socks, because it seems like socks are almost as consumable as those other single-use items around here...

And then I saw it, sitting all nice and pretty on the end cap, clearanced at 75% of it's original price. A set with bed skirt (which doesn't work with out bed frame anyway...), duvet cover, and 2 fabulous and superfluous fancy pillow cases. Deep red with a gold and green paisley pattern. It was luxurious looking, and it was slippery. That was its downfall. It literally kept slipping off to one side or the other, and it sounded rather loud as it did. It was the taffeta backing. I've never really understood satin sheets, but taffeta surely must be worse. I even put a flannel sheet under it, because, well, we live in Minnesnowta and have a closet full of flannel sheets (2 sets). Taffeta still slips off of flannel.

My husband tried to appreciate the look of this beautiful piece. After all, his wife had finally gone to some extra effort to beautify the master bedroom, to make it the sanctuary of our home (that it should be! I need to keep working on that!), and he didn't want to squelch any of that. After a week of trying, he finally took it off the bed the other night and said it just has to go. "It's like sleeping under a windbreaker." You know, those lighweight, but really loud, jackets? I giggled, and agreed. It really was like sleeping under a windbreaker, a really pretty windbreaker, but a windbreaker nonetheless.

I hope somebody else will appreciate it. It's going to the thrift store.

I can't use it, so, to me, it's junk, and I need to get the Junk Out!

What else? It's also time to toss about 50 (ok, I didn't really count them) little girls' turtlenecks that have been worn by 4 girls for the past 5 yrs or so, and really just aren't in any shape to be passed on. They weren't in the best of shape to be worn by girl #4, which is why she ended up with several new shirts making the pile of older shirts even more unnecessary and downright cumbersome as she has this habit of emptying the entire bin of shirts every time she goes to pick out a new one. When the bin is stuffed full of hand-me-downs it makes for a big pile of shirts on the floor... Yeah, time to be done with that.

Baby clothes passed on, a bedding set thrifted, and a pile of overused shirts tossed. That's a good week for me, and I think I'll finish going through our youngest two children's clothes this afternoon...

How did you do?

What's So Ordinary?

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

"I don't know how you do it."
"You must be the most patient woman in the world."
"You must be so organized."
"You are one special woman."

I hear it all the time, often immediately following the frequently uttered, "Wow, you've sure got your hands full." Yes, I do, I think to myself, trying to remember to smile and nod in agreement. "It's a good full", I often respond.

When I hear "You must be busy all the time!", I nod and reply "Yep, it's a good busy", because it is. Life with many children is busy, even when nothing is going on, but it's a good busy, a busy I wouldn't trade for anything.

The thing is, I'm not the most patient woman in the world. I'm so far from the most organized woman in the world that it really isn't funny. Patience and organization are things I am always working on. I'm really not even that special, not any more than any other mother who tries, by the grace of God, to do right by her children.

I'm really quite ordinary.

I try, I fail, and I get up and try again the next day. I have ideals I don't always live up to, dreams I may never live out, and goals I may never reach, but I keep on keepin' on because it's really all there is to do.

I am a Mother.

I have children who wake up every day needing whatever it is I have to give, and then some. Every day they need guidance and direction. Sometimes they need their questions answered and sometimes they need to be pointed in the direction of finding the answers themselves. Sometimes they need help with doing something new or something hard, and sometimes they need further instructions and further encouragement in learning to do it themselves.

I have a job to do-

"Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 2:26
"And these words, which I command thee this day,
shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,
and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,
and when thou walkest by the way,
and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."
Deuteronomy 6:6-7

I don't feel qualified to do such a big job, remember I'm just an ordinary mom?

That is where He comes in.

He is my strength when I am weak

(weak in patience, weak in joy, weak in physical pain)

He is the treasure that I seek

("Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually."

1 Chronicles 16:11)

He is my all in all, and He is not ordinary.

He is extraordinary.

IPs and Lots of Lists

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:02:00 +0000

Whew! There are a good many benefits to being married to an IT guy, like how he took care of the whole domain name buying thing and the setting it all up on the web server and entering all of the ftp path mumbo jumbo so all I have to do is hit "publish post"... Then there are the times that he has to do things like reassign IPs because of some new fiber loop and extras like the blogs go down for a bit and are not the 1st priority to bring back up when there are things like entire racks of servers that form the basis of what we hope to be our livelihood soon... and, well...

I had a couple down days. Well, that's not entirely true. I managed to get quite a bit done (I love Getting Things Done with the Autofocus System! and I need to start another notebook!), but the blog had some down days, which is totally no big deal. That being said, it's nice to back up and running.

The kids have been chomping at the bit and really working hard to get this week's list of schoolwork done so we can go on a play date tomorrow. It's so great to see them diving in and making the effort to earn the privilege. Even relaxed homeschoolers have some requirements, and I'm getting so much better at sticking to actually requiring them... (I used to be SUCH a softie!)

I've got another list to attend to and an audio book to pick out for the drive time tomorrow.

It's supposed to be a few degrees warmer here than it was yesterday, which is great, except for the fact that we're still not supposed to get above freezing, sigh... BUT, the sun is out again, and I just know that spring will eventually come, even to this frozen state. Eventually.

On that note, have an extraordinary Thursday!

eta: I'd love to see another link or two on this Saturday's Junk Out post! I know that there are more of you decluttering out there and that whole strength in numbers thing really is true! If you've got a corner or two (or a whole house like me!) to clean out and declutter, join in and take a pic or two if you're brave enough, and write about your progress, or even about your motivation to declutter, tips, or stories about blessing others with your excess!

Multitude Monday 281-290

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

281. releasing another several pounds of clutter

282. children who beg for more biscuits, some with sausage gravy, some with butter and jelly, some with butter and honey, some with peanut butter, some with just butter, all made with love and more helping hands

283. a week with more sunny days than overcast days

284. a good night's sleep for my husband and I, on the same night...

285. respiratory crud finally easing up again and making it through this round with only 1 ER visit and no hospitalizations for any asthmatics- I never thought I would be in a place to need to say that I'm thankful for months in a row without a hospital stay, but after the last 5 yrs, ever since our 5 yr old Hope was hospitalized with RSV at 6 weeks old, and the many hospitalizations that Grace and Hope have endured... now I'm in that place, and I'm thankful for every month without a hospital visit...

286. a husband who keeps encouraging me

287. personal character pruning, it hurts to go through, but I trust and love the Gardener

288. time spent holding a sister's new baby

289. a sister and brother-in-law buying their first home, not too far away, bringing the rest of my immediate family close together again (us, my parents, and now both of my sisters and their husbands, and of course their precious children, live within about 10 miles of each other!)

290. the urge to take down the snowflake decorations and start creating some springtime atmosphere in our home!

Junk Out 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:00:00 +0000

This week I didn't make the kind of progress I had hoped for. That's ok, I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with releasing things, and that is a huge step in the right direction. Huge. I passed on a ton of baby boy clothes to my youngest sister today without hesitation. I didn't take a picture, but when I say a ton, I mean a ton, or however much 2 very full garbage bags weighs...

It gets easier, I'm seeing that, but I still have a long way to go. I've realized that I am the type of person to develop an emotional attachment to just about anything I've ever touched, owned, or even seen. Ok, that could be a slight exaggeration, but it's not that far off.

I have single coffee cups that I never meant to collect, and that annoy me because there is no uniform-ness in my cup cupboard. Haphazard cups bumping into each other stresses me out, and yet I've kept them, even a few of the chipped ones. "You never know when you might need an extra cup, right?" "That chip isn't that big." Ok, the one that had the crack spread down the side and then started dripping coffee on me... that one went. You see? I'm not hopeless. I just have too much junk.

I have decorative plates that never get used. Some were gifts, and you know how that can go... I've never once been given a guilt trip by anyone (that I can remember) about not hanging onto a gift of some sort, and yet I have guilted myself into not getting rid of things that someone gave me for years and years. I've gotten better at it, but I do still have that Tabasco glass that one of my sisters gave us years ago. It's really cute, actually, but it sits up in a back corner of the cupboard just taking up space, mostly because it's a lone cup, and I have this thing for symmetry and pairs. It held pens for a while, but then I moved up to a bigger and wider pen holder, and back into the cupboard it went. It's a cute cup, but I don't need it and somebody else might get some enjoyment out of it. It's going in the box.

I have fabric I've never cut into, but that I had an idea for some time ago...

I have sewing pattenrs I'm sure I'll never use...

I have knitting books and patterns that I thought about using once upon a time...

I have boxes of papers that either need archiving or shredding...

I have games no one liked to play...

I have tablecloths that don't fit my table...

I have books I meant to read and school books I meant to use, before I changed my mind...

I still have clothes I never wear hanging in my closet, despite several purgings already...

I have pictures I've never hung...

I have small kitchen appliances that seemed like a good idea at the time...

I have unused Tupperware...!?!

I just keep finding things, things I don't need, things I never use, things I don't even like anymore, and a new feeling comes over me- the feeling like I can give, sell, or toss!

I love the decluttered corners that I've reclaimed, the order that has returned to my closet, and knowing that even an organizationally challenged packrat can find freedom from things- things that clutter the mind as much as they clutter the home.

I love getting the Junk Out!!

Proverbs and Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:10:00 +0000

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (italics not mine, it's printed just like that in my KJV)

This has been one of my favorite verses for years. I love it and read it over and over again. I meditate on it as often as I need to, and that's pretty often.

You see, I have a long history of battling a very real depression. All of my looking for the good in things, the humor in things, the blessing in things, doesn't come naturally. It's a conscious decision, a decision that on some days is so hard for me to make. Those are the days when the decision to be merry or to find the merriment is even more important. For me, it's necessary.

Like so many things in life, especially hard things, it comes easier with practice. And so I practice, and I encourage my children to practice. We practice joy. We practice laughter. We practice merriment. We try to have fun, good clean fun, and it does our hearts good.

"but a broken spirit drieth the bones"- what happens to things that are dried? I've lost enough plants to know about dryness. Things become hard. They become weak. They become brittle. They break.

The opposite of dry is wet. (Brilliant observation, I know.) Really wet is saturated, and that's how I want so badly to be- saturated with joy, soaked through and through, to the bone.

It's how I want to be, for me, which is even more important because of my role as a parent, a Mother, a life and soul shaper. And so I set my mind on things of Him. He's teaching me joy. He makes me merry and it does my heart good. When my heart is doing good, then I am better equipped to be the Mother I strive to be. Then I can share my merry heart and it doeth them good as well. I want to do them so much good. By His grace, I will.

Simple Buttermilk Biscuits

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Oh, how I love a good biscuit. So do my children. And so does my husband. It works out good that way.

The other day, on a whim, I decided to make our 10 yr old, Jaron, my little sous chef/baker biscuit apprentice. It was great fun. We should definitely do that more often. Soon to be 9 yr old Liberty has dibs on the next tandem baking slot.

We made 2 batches, 2 bowls working side by side. I demonstrated. He imitated. Everyone ate a hearty brunch of biscuits with sausage gravy, a little bit of southern comfort food on a cold Frozen Tundra* winter morning. So good.

*Minnesota, or Minnesnowta

I prefer to make these with 1/2 all-purpose flour and 1/2 freshly ground whole wheat flour. You can make them with all white flour, and they'll be tasty, sort of like restaurant biscuits, but they won't have much, if any, nutritional value, and may act sort of like glue in your intestines. Just sayin'. You can make them with all whole wheat flour, but they'll be a bit more dense and gritty, and you'll probably only like them if you're the real crunchy sort. I love them with 100% fresh ground whole wheat, but the rest of my family prefers 50%... I aim to please.

My recipe is similar to, if not the same as, many others out there. Some use shortening, some use 1/2 shortening and 1/2 butter, and some use all butter. I've written mine out to be flexible and listed the options right there. I believe in being creative and making things your own. What makes my biscuits my biscuits is that I almost always use at least half freshly ground whole wheat flour and all butter. I have an ongoing love affair with butter and wouldn't dream of making my biscuits with anything else. Not everyone feels that way, so wrote in the shortening option. You're welcome.

Without further ado, here is my recipe for our ordinary...

Simple Buttermilk Biscuits

2 c all purpose flour (or 1 c + 1 c whole wheat flour!)
3 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
4 Tbsp butter or shortening (I use butter!)
1 c buttermilk

Sift together dry ingredients and then cut in butter or shortening. Mix in buttermilk to make soft dough and turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Gently knead/fold 4 or 5 times and roll out to approx. 1/2" thick. Cut with biscuit cutter, place on greased pan, and bake at 425˚ for about 15 minutes. Serve warm and enjoy!

Perhaps the favorite and funnest part of making biscuits is the hand shaping of the last bits of dough. If the truth be told, and it should, those biscuits are my favorite biscuits! I always have had a soft spot for those 'different' ones, people and biscuits...

So how about you? White flour? Whole wheat? 50/50? Butter? Shortening? Biscuits in a can?

Multitude Monday 261-280

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

261. the beauty that is in our frosty land these days

262. a Friday field trip down "in the city" without a headache despite harsh sun while driving, cold air outside, parking too far from the museum and nearly getting lost in the skyway system, oh, and paying to much to get out of the ramp due to losing the ticket... definite headache material, and yet there was none... it was a good day

263. dry roads on Friday and Saturday while we were out and about and I was behind the wheel

264. overcoming my urge to wimp out and stay home on Saturday

265. meeting the sweetest alpacas

266. our first pair of snow shoes

267. 10 yr old son deciding to make our 2nd pair of snow shoes

268. coughing and wheezing, though not subsiding, is lessening day by day

269. more than 1 day in a row with sunshine!

270. finding a couple coupons I think I'll actually use

271. impromptu steak dinner with husband after kids in bed

272. sparkling peach juice shared with my love

273. another 4 yr old turning 5!! Our sweet and silly little Hope is growing up so fast!

274. children who think my cake decorating is g-r-r-eat! beauty, even cake beauty, truly is in the eye of the beholder...

275. sisters wrapping up things of their own to gift to their sister on her birthday! It touches me that our children always do that!

276. the calendar filling up a bit more as spring approaches

277. my husband who works long hours to provide for us

278. my husband who provides more than just money to pay the bills, but an example of hard-working responsibility

279. my husband who continues to tell me I'm cute

280. my husband who doesn't have anything to prove on Valentine's Day, because I already know that he loves me, every day, even on an off day, I still know it

Thank you, Precious Lord, for the many gifts You have seen fit to give to me, today, and every day. All I have to give back to You is my thanks, and my life, and my love- here they are, they're Yours.

The Cold Hard Truth About Me and Minnesota Winters

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 22:45:00 +0000

If the truth be told, and it should be, I hate winter. Hate is a strong word, and I often caution my kids that they shouldn't just throw that word around carelessly, but I do. I hate winter. Usually.

I was born and raised right here in the Frozen Tundra. I have borne each of my children here and am currently raising them here, here in the cold and snowy state of Minnesnowta.

I detest being cold, though I do love a cozy sweater and I adore wearing knee-highs. Cold makes me tense, literally. My shoulders tense up and it moves up my neck. I have "a bad neck", so extra tension means extra pain, which often creeps right up to the base of my skull and beyond, leaving me with chronic severe headaches. Cold is not my friend.

I also despise the days and days and sometimes weeks and weeks with no sun. Cold and gray is an unpleasant mix which leaves me feeling sad and sluggish and a bit dull in the head. I require full-spectrum bulbs, vitamin D supplementation, and plenty of coffee.

I have been known to have some fun out in the snow, (though I would much rather be basking in some warm sun)- I used to downhill ski. I have enjoyed some cross-country skiing. I love a good sledding outing. I even managed to get out for a wintry walk this year. Like many Minnesotans, I grew up with a snowmobiling Dad, and will admit to enjoying the ride enough not to mind the fuel smell we walk in wearing when we're done. For a few minutes, then I mind. Unlike many Minnesotans, I have not, however, gone ice fishing, and I don't ever plan on doing so.

Living in Minnesota while not liking winter means that in this land of 2 seasons (winter and road construction), I would actually rather be stuck in slow traffic in a congested construction area than cold and surrounded by snow. I would. It's sad. I know.

Most of my children are much heartier than me and seem to be impervious to cold. That makes me happy. I adore their pink noses and cheeks. A pink (and often dripping) nose on my face is far less endearing. Trust me.

All that being said, even I have to admit that sometimes winter in this Frozen Tundra can be beautiful. Breathtaking. Amazing. Don't you think so?

A day like this now and then makes it a little more bearable... and then I wish it would all melt into spring.

A Is For Again

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:00:00 +0000

"Read it again"
"Sing it again"
"Do it again"
"Can we play it again?"

Just as the sun keeps rising and setting , over and over again, day after day, so does a Mother the same thing, again and again and again.

We-
Wash the dishes and the clothes.
Buy, cook, and serve, food prepared in love.
Change the diapers.
Tie the shoes.
Get the crayons.
Adore the pictures.
Brush out her snarls.
Get some more milk.
Wipe the faces and wash the hands.
Sing sweetly the songs of childhood- Twinkle, Twinkle, the ABC's, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, Jesus Loves Me, Amazing Grace, the list goes on and grows as they do...
We do it all again and again and again.

We-
Bake the cookies.
Wipe the noses.
Tuck in the shirts.
Help ease on the socks.
Find the shoes.
Step on the legos.
Smile at another colored picture.
Make the snack.
Pull back the covers and tuck into bed.
Soothe fevered brows.
Clean up the sick.
Wash the hair.
Iron the Sunday clothes, ok, well, sometimes...
We do it all again and again and again.

We-
Dry the tears.
Apply the band-aids.
Say "don't touch", "put that down", "get off the table", and "careful!"
Hug.
Cuddle.
Carry.
Cradle.
Rock.
Hold.
We do it all again and again and again.

They grow and they flourish and we smile. It's all worth it.

Yes, some day we will miss it, all of the agains, and our hearts full of memories will need to carry us on.

May my memories be of the more joy satisfying "yes, we can do it again" and "okay, one more time..." than the disappointing "no, not right now, maybe later". Eventually, there will be no more later, that's when I'll miss it.

Tonight, I'll Mother with intention, again.

Oral Steroids to the Rescue Again

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

I heard her sniffle.

"Mom, my eyes are watering, and my throat hurts."

Another sniffle, and a little cough, not a concerning cough, but then, when your child has asthma, isn't every cough concerning? They have become so, at least with this child. When she coughs, I listen, with my ear on her chest and back, and often with a stethoscope.

Sometimes it's nothing, and sometimes it's asthma. Sometimes there's a whistly wheeze, sometimes there's a crackle, often there is noise other than the simple rush of air I wish to hear.

The runny nose and watery eyes called for some Benedryl. At the first sign of the tickly cough, the Albuterol came out. Every 4 hrs is the standard protocol.

9 am on Sunday morning, she 'had a neb' before we left for church. Her next one was at 1pm, and all seemed relatively ok, except for the cough, it sounded more productive. By 3 (only 2 hrs) she needed another breathing treatment, as her coughing increased and her O2 level began dropping through the 90's. Below 95 is not-so-hot, below 92 for any length of time is not good, that has been the benchmark stat that her docs have told us is when she needs to get in on O2.

By 5 she was at 90%, another neb. She dipped to 89%, and got a second one, back-to-back. She lingered around 91-92%, borderline, but it was early, we've seen her drop her stats at night so many times.

More meds at 7 and again at 9, then she fell asleep on the couch, and dipped to 87%.

It was time to go in.

And it was snowing.

It ended up ok, one of those runs where the very act of getting up and walking out in that cold air actually helped her O2 stat come up a bit by the time we got there. She dipped some after relaxing, but only to 91%, so the doc ordered yet another breathing treatment. She had also developed a fever over the course of Sunday evening, which could have meant virus (as opposed to just a typical asthma/allergy type of event) or that she was already developing pneumonia, which she has done rapidly so many times.

Thankfully, her x-ray was clear! Beautiful lungs, and no antibiotics. She is, however, on yet another oral steroid 'burst', never my favorite, but, as I've grown rather fond of saying "a girl's gotta breathe"...

She was not admitted that night (thank you, Lord!), instead I drove home on a snowy night, oh so tired and barely able to see the road in front of me. The snow stuck to the road and I could see no lane markings. My only landmark on that pavement was the little bumpy grooves in the center that make your car rattle when you drift across the lanes... I was thankful it was after 1am and there were few cars on that rural highway that night.

Monday was an ok day, with breathing treatment interruptions every 4 hrs, long nebs with 2 meds, and the steroid behaviors kicking in along with the desired respiratory effects. Tuesday was even better, though she had a few coughing fits that gave me pause...

Tuesday was busy, though we had to get those breathing treatments in between the work and play. Our oldest started a speech class with other homeschoolers, which looks like it will be an excellent addition to our lifestyle of learning. We also made a Target run to pick out a birthday gift or two or three for our 4 yr old who is about to turn 5. There was an abbreviated afternoon of school work before the cake baking, and then the cake eating began. Games were played (the classic Operation- love that game!) and new puppy toy was played with. Pictures were taken and a couple short videos captured. Bedtimes were pushed back for a night while busy children laughed extra long, extra hard, and extra loud- we can never leave out the loud part around here.

It never ceases to hit me, when the asthma rears its head, how blessed we are. We have meds, we have good hospitals, we have good doctors. It wasn't that long ago that a child with chronic breathing issues wouldn't have made it long. We are so lucky to have her, except that I don't really believe in luck. She is a gift from God, and every day with her is a gift from Him. One more reason to keep on keepin' on, to do my best by my children, and not take them for granted.

Today is day 4 of the oral steroid (that started Sunday night) and I do think we have this round under control. She will stay on her inhaled steroid for some time after the oral dose taper, probably until we have our next visit with her pulmonologist. Which reminds me, I need to schedule that for sometime in March, which seemed much further away back in the first week of December...

Mr. Extraordinary scored some tickets to a local event tonight and will be out on a free date night, enjoying a night on the town, while my youngest sister is in the throes of labor (unless it goes fast! pray for fast!) as she is scheduled to be induced to deliver their 2nd son later this morning. If any of you praying Mommas out there would take a moment to offer up a prayer on behalf of my baby sister and her baby, please know you're appreciated! If we time things right, or if she times things right, or if baby times things right, we won't be all that far from the hospital in the evening... maybe we can sneak in for a peak and some pics!

Sweet Sounds of Mercy

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

I love the way she says "Otay".

If I could bottle it up, to sip from, to quench my thirst for joy on a day, down the road, when my Mothering seems dry, I would fill a pantry. And then I'd bottle some more.

It's a paradox really, that our little Mercy, the child who has challenged me the most, would be the one who can melt my heart with her cuteness the fastest and the most completely.

It's a bit like how the more I realize what a challenge I must be to Him, the sweeter His love is to me. I said a bit like, because the analogy doesn't exactly work. I'm not quite sure that my cuteness melts His heart the fastest (in fact, I rather doubt it, my cuteness isn't all that cute), but I can rest in the fact that cuteness or ugliness aside (and I do have my ugly days, don't we all? I sincerely hope I'm not the only one), His heart has already melted. His love has already been given.

"For Gos so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life"
John 3:16

He loved and He gave. That's my example. I love and I need to give- give my love, my patience (and some of His, for I never seem to have enough), my time, my forgiveness, grace, and mercy. I love and I need to give of myself, knowing that part of who they become will be because of who I am, just as part (oh, I hope most!) of who I become is because of who He is.

She is a petite pumpkin and has definitely been my lightest 3 yr old (we breed 'em big here). She makes the most of her size and continues to wrap her arms around me and hang on for a ride, and I let her. I keep her close, right where she needs to be for now, so that one day when she's ready to spread her little wings and fly, she will be better equipped to handle herself as she learns to handle the world around her.

Mothering is work, and when the work is extra hard, the rewards are extra sweet. Like the way she squeezes me and the way she says "Otay".

Multitude Monday 241-260

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

eta: 7 yr old seems to have been hit with a virus, causing her asthma to act up suddenly, 3 hrs in the ER and another round of steroids, no pneumonia- today we're thankful for no pneumonia!

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of
our thanksgiving. ~W.T. Purkiser

241. safety on snowy roads

242. a minute or 2 more daylight each day

243. feeling the spring fever coursing through my veins

244. leisure time with friends

245. excitement for my youngest sister, nearing the birth of her 2nd son

246. the well meaning "how are you?"s, the ones when dear women make eye contact, and really want to know

247. modern medicine, yet again helping our sweet daughter to breathe

248. Cheetos dust, on the youngest of hands and cheeks, even when it leaves its mark on my clothes, when it's on my baby, even that staining orange stuff is endearing

249. knowing he's my baby, even though he's a whopping 15 months old, he'll always be my baby, right?

250. another stirring message at church

251. a heart in a place and condition to be stirred

252. knowing it truly is in Him that I live and move and have my being

253. a heartfelt hug

254. a genuine smile

255. shared tears

256. another day to get up and try again

257. another daily list to work through

258. a few stolen moments to plan my week

259. new resolve

260. resting in the peace that truly does pass understanding

Deep Thinking Is Not For Wimps

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 18:15:00 +0000

The problem with deep thinking is that you think deep thoughts, at least I do. Deep thoughts can be the thoughts that inspire. I love it when that happens. I wish all of my deep thoughts were like that. Other deep thoughts can unearth our deepest fears, our deepest feelings of inadequacy, and when those are the deep thoughts being thunk (I can make up words, this is my space, wait, I just looked it up, it's a word), it's so easy to be consumed with fear, anxiety, and utter hopelessness, at least it is for me.

What am I doing?
Why can't I get this right?
Are my efforts all in vain?
Are my words falling on deaf ears?
How many times am I going to make the same mistake?
What have I gotten myself into?
Am I really doing my best?
What if I'm not?
Maybe I'm really just lazy.
Maybe I don't have anything better in me to give.
Maybe it doesn't even matter.

Except, it does. It does matter. What I do matters. What I say matters. What I think matters. I am a Mother. I am shaping little lives, little hearts, little souls, all day, every day, no matter what I do. I can shape them poorly or I can shape them well. I can stand by and let the world shape them, and yet, if it happens on my watch, while they're under my roof and in my care, then it's really me shaping them, by merely allowing the world to shape them.

Passive parenting will not do.

I have never thought that it would, and yet, as I think about my days, I can find times and ways in which my actions betray a lack of purpose, a lack of intention. It's not my best, and while I know that no one can actually be their very best in every situation in every moment (I'm pretty sure the only man who ever did was Jesus, the rest of us are fallen), I still believe the best should be my goal. To do my best should still be my purpose, my intention. And it is.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself. Sometimes I just need a good cry, and then I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, maybe do a jumping jack or two to get the bloop pumping good and strong again, and then I need to get up and get back in the game, with renewed purposed, and reignited intentions. That's where I am this weekend.

I grew up always hearing that the Peace Corps was "the toughest job you'll ever love". I never volunteered with the Peace Corps, but I'm pretty sure that this job, Motherhood, is a tougher job, and no matter how much I may have loved time in the Peace Corps, I know I love Motherhood more.

Another Benefit of Relaxed Homeschooling

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:00:00 +0000

3 yr old little Sparkler informed me- "If I get my shoes on, then I won't have my boots on."

Very true. She is a bright one, I'm telling you.

Twinkler turns 5 next week, and as hard as I find that to believe, she keeps reminding me of how fast these little minds develop. She recalls most letter names and sounds and is starting to blend them, while Sparkler eagerly watches on.

I was a little worried that the age difference between Dazzle, who turned 7 in late November, and Twinkler was going to be a hurdle in our homeschooling. 27 months seemed a bit much to be able to work with them together, but it has turned out to be just right. He knew it would be. Dazzle is getting along just fine, she just moves at a different pace, her own pace. She is one of those kids that needs more repetition than the next kid, so repetition she gets. A lot. More than would be possible in most school settings. For her, perhaps more than any of our other children, learning at home in a relaxed environment has been more than a preference, it has been necessary, and such a blessing.

Our 3 younger girls sit together, and as I work with Twinkler on her ABC's and 123's, practicing the sounds and the mechanics of writing, Sparkler gets some early exposure, Dazzle gets some reinforcement, and I get a sense that everything is OK.

Wanna know what my favorite part of relaxed homeschooling is? The part where I get to be relaxed. I don't worry about what the curriculum schedule says. We are not necessarily behind, we are where we are, and we are almost always getting more out of where we are than if we had only spent 1 day, for 50 minutes, in that spot. Our children move on when they're ready, and when they do, they have a more solid foundation to build on than some minutes of fill-in-the-blank worksheets and a memorized date or 2. They have an understanding, and relaxing has been key to getting it.

And they have time to play! Like this afternoon, after the math and reading have been done, when some friends come up to visit and play in the snow- oh, yes, more snow!

Sparkler will be thrilled for another chance to wear her boots!

eta: She didn't even head out with the big kids today, but she loves her boots! They're girly-girl pink, what's not to love?

Happy Anniversary to Who?

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 19:30:00 +0000

How many of you got a good chuckle reading Monday's list? Those of you Constitutional scholars surely noticed our case of mistaken lesser known holidays. Did you miss it? It's ok, take a moment, go back and read #236, I'll wait.

I have to admit, I had a good chuckle, at my son's expense, this morning when I went to add the Young People's Concerts we ordered tickets to (if you're local, check them out, how often can you go to Orchestra Hall for $3-$6 a ticket?) to our wall calender. I glanced at this Friday, the day we were planning on having our little Constitution party, just because...

It was one of those child's delight-led learning moments, on Monday, when our 10 yr old was excited to tell about the anniversary (and I didn't think to look it up! that'll learn me, maybe) and I went with it. Sometimes we just go with it, it's one of the sweetest delights of our lifestyle of learning. I said we should celebrate. We have extra cake mixes, why not add a little fun to our Friday?

He had already started reading "Father of the Constitution, A Story of James Madison" (a book he pulled off the shelf for free reading, all on his own) and had the Constitution on the mind. In excitement about a Constitution party, he grabbed some paper, crumpled and flattened and colored it yellow, to resemble an old document, and filled it with lines of scrawled pretend cursive. It was quicker than actually writing it all out, that might be a bit too much copywork. He took the big feather from the woodsman hat (think Robin Hood) to use as his quill pen. He was set, except for the white powdered wig, but there was time for that.

And then I looked. And I laughed. Out loud.

There it was, "(M)".

I guess there is still time to read about Mexico's Constitution...

Maybe we can have some burritos with our cake.

For inquiring minds- September 17th.

(Constitution Day, "US")

Multitude Monday 221-240

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 04:30:00 +0000

221. a slow morning, with time in the Word

222. not worrying about the slow start

223. knowing I can catch up

224. knowing it'll be okay if I don't

225. gigantic fresh oranges in a Minnesota winter

226. youngest little soul reaching high on tippy-toes to put his own bowl in the sink

227. sweet little future man, gaining independence in baby steps each day

228. 3 yr old wanting up in my lap, again and again and again, she loves to be near, I love to have her near

229. 4 little girls, all eager to help wash the living room windows, especially the part where they get to climb on the furniture to reach the windows

230. children who love to munch on carrots all afternoon

231. homemade ranch dressing, with homemade buttermilk

232. children excited to get back to home school co-op tomorrow

233. 3, 4, & 7 yr olds having fun with phonics, excited to read and to write

234. reading another of the 50 Famous Stories Retold to an eager young audience

235. reading the Word aloud with a 3 yr old by my side, listening so sweetly

236. 10 yr old creating a pretend copy of the Constitution because he noticed on the calender that this Friday is the anniversary of the Constitution, and deciding we should have a Constitution party. Seriously, a Constitution party?! Sure, why not?!

237. children who'll use anything as an excuse to have a party

238. having a 10 yr old very capable of doing the laundry

239. sisters working together to fold and put away clothes for their big loving family

240. a teenage son who doesn't mind getting "dishpan hands" to get the supper dishes done, well, if he does mind, he doesn't complain one bit, and I'm thankful for that as well

Today was full, and tomorrow is packed. Wednesday is busy, and before I know it, another weekend will be here. There are a few more moments and minutes of daylight each day and I can feel the Spring Fever begin to rise in my veins. I think perhaps some time with a seed catalog and a little garden planning, I just may pull through this long winter yet!

Junk Out Week 5

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:07:00 +0000

This week I needed to tackle my entry, again. I think this area needs to have a quarterly clean-out, if not a monthly one. The up side of having a nice big entry, especially for a large family, is having a nice big space for coats and boots and shoes and stuff. The down side of having a nice big entry is having a nice big space for coats and boots and shoes and stuff. Space in my home is like a vacuum, it sucks in stuff.

We have 2 new puppies, who happen to be growing very quickly. They also happen to still be in training, if you know what I mean. (No, not training to sit still in church...) With puppies and their accidents, I'm taking bleach water to the floor pretty frequently, and it would help if there was not a pile of excess coats or misplaced mittens to work around, or worse, to pick up and run through the washing machine... ick.

I've had a few extraneous things in the entry for a while now, just waiting to be sorted through and tossed or donated, or in the case of the extra curtain rods that have been forgotten in the corner, put with the sewing stuff to be used with the puppet theater, once I pick up some cheap satin and/or velvet remnants at Mill End.

The big extra air matress needed putting back in the closet. It was on the floor, where it really didn't belong, for far too long...
A couple extra coats needed passing on the the thrift store,
same with the unused rain coat.
The boots needed organizing
and the shoes needed sorting.
The extra basket needed a new home under the stairs, for collecting toys waiting to go back upstairs.

And the floor needed to be mopped, again. And naybe again, for good measure.

The entry is the 1st thing people see when they enter our home. I know it should be a priority on the cleaning list and yet it seems so easy for me to let that area become overwhelmed with disorganized clutter. Our extra coat hooks have helped, as there are just too many sweaters, jackets, and coats for our little closet in a family this size. I have yet to find the perfect thing to tackle the shoe situation, but I keep trying! My latest idea is to keep a basket and just let them dig for pairs, as I don't have enough room for enough special shoe racks. I'm not sure how long it will last, bit it's working for now.

What about you? Did you get any Junk Out this week? Remember, the linky is kept open all week, so you can come back and link up any time you get to posting your decluttering progress.

Training Little Ones to Sit Still

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 13:00:00 +0000

The other day, I mentioned training littles to sit still in church. Holly asked, in the comments, if we practice sitting still in church during our weeks. We do, not every day, but as often as I remember to work it into our schedule, we do. Why? In addition to church, having littles who are able to sit still, or at least relatively still, comes in handy in many places, like the dinner table- at home or away, in a waiting room, even the checkout line at the grocery store or Target.

Let me be up front- I am no expert trainer, I'm an ordinary Mom. My children are not expert still-sitters, they're ordinary children, who can wiggle and squirm with the best of them, or maybe the worst of them. I have sought out a lot of advice have been working extra with my two youngest lately and wanted to share some of what I've found to work and perhaps a little insight into why.

A few years back, I read a recommendation about training children to sit still in church. This is just about the Ultimate Sitting Still Challenge, because it's usually a longer amount of time than most dinner situations and children are expected to be much quieter and not doing things like, well, eating. I didn't like the idea of having 2 and 3 yr olds in the nursery week after week when I knew it was not only preferable, but possible, to have them sitting in the service with the family. I read the advice with hopeful and eager anticipation.

The advice I read long ago entailed setting a specified time, like the time your normal church service is at, and lining up the kids on the couch to sit, listening to a recorded sermon or maybe an audio Bible, or even to Mom or Dad reading, rather dryly, from the Bible. Yes, this advice said to read dryly, boring even. The idea was that this was not entertainment time, this was a time to train children to sit still in spite of the fact that they were not being entertained.

We do this, to a degree. Right now I'm working with my 15 month old, just trying to get a good 15 minutes of quiet and sitting still. He's still not convinced it's a good idea, but he is learning that it doesn't matter, it's Mom's idea, and therefore he needs to go along with it.

In our house these days, training to sit still happens on a more ongoing basis than just "couch church" times. Whenever the 1 yr old or the 3 yr old spend any time on my lap there is another opportunity to train, and this is the area I've been focusing more on lately.

It seems whenever I sit down, that one or the other of them wants up. Once up, they tend to wiggle and squirm, reaching for my book or my pen or worse, my coffee. When I make it clear that they are not to touch but they are to sit still, they will almost always decide they'd rather be down, pursuing their own will, out of my reach. This is the moment to train. Once the squirming has begun, the training kicks into high gear.

With the 3 yr old, this is a bit easier. She understands more. I tell her, "Nope, you can't get down. You wanted up, and now you're going to sit nice for Mom until I say you can get down." She may slump back with a sigh, but she stops squirming and knows she needs to wait quietly, usually for 2 or 3 minutes, sometimes longer, at which time I let her down, on my terms. I don't always remember to do this, but as I know that consistency is key when it comes to training, I am trying more and more to remember to work on this and am seeing some real results.

This isn't even really about sitting still, this is about obeying Mom. Realizing this has been the key for me. It's good for a child to learn to sit still, but it's way more important for that child to learn to obey Mom, right away, and all the way.

With the youngest, little Chipper, currently 15 months, things are a little more challenging. Okay, a lot more challenging. This obedience thing is still new to him. When he gets up on my lap, he starts squirming right away. He's quite the active little bugger. He likes to reach for things on my desk, or things on the arm of the couch, or things in my hands, depending on where I'm sitting and what I'm doing. Anything will do, he's a toddler, though the shinier the better. I tell him "No, don't touch". He's heard "No" enough to know that something is going on at that point. He usually pauses a moment, and if he pulls his hand back I will give him an encouraging "Good job, you obeyed Mommy!". If, after pausing, he turns back to what he was reaching for, determined to get his chubby little fingers on it no matter what I may have to say about it, then I will swat his hand, not hard, but firmly enough to let him know that I mean business. Sometimes once does the job, sometimes we go back and forth a few times, and at some point he will try to slither away.

This is where the sitting still training comes back into play. I will hold him in place on my lap. When he arches his back in protest, I will out-muscle him and 'bend' him back into sitting position, while telling him "No, you need to sit still". He'll arch, maybe attempting to kick a bit as well, and I'll hold him up, not letting him get away. This make take a minute, it may take 10, it may even take 20 or 30*. At some point he will give in, he will stop fighting. He usually sits and cries a little bit of a pity-me cry, wallowing a bit in defeat. I will usually pull him a bit closer, giving him a little reassuring cuddle, and tell him "Good job sitting still" (assuming he's actually sitting still in my lap at this point) and attempt to shush the crying. After he's been still for a minute or two (I'll increase the time increments as he gets better at complying), I'll look around for something he might be interested in and may say something like "Are you ready to get down? Should we go build with some blocks?" and I'll set him down and we'll go on with our day, having another training session under our proverbial belts.

Our almost 5 and just turned 7 yr olds were pretty content lap-sitters and I don't remember working quite as hard with those two, or maybe I just look back with my rose-colored glasses and only remember the good times. With the oldest three, I was just learning these very new to me concepts of actually training children to be happy and obedient (yes, obedient children are generally happier children!) and I was just happy that they weren't hitting and kicking each other, or me.

*Please understand that if you get frustrated to the point of anger, it's time for the training to be over, time to switch gears and find something else to do, preferably something enjoyable to play. Yes, in this case, your child will have won that battle, and yes, this means the next battle will be that much harder, but I'd rather see Mommies and children enjoying each other than angry with each other any day. Anger is so destructive in a parent-child relationship, I know, I've been the angry Mom more times than I would ever care to admit. When a child in training decides to make a fight out of it, try to remember not to take it personally- it's not about you. For the child, it's all about me (himself/herself). They want what they want when they want it and they would fight against anyone who stands in their way. When you're the training Mother, that anyone is you. Stay calm, smile if you can, and say "No".

In the past, I started working on training for sitting for longer periods of time, specifically for the purpose of keeping our children with us throughout church services, at about 12 months old. I may be growing soft, in my old age (hehe), as I have been a little slower with the last two. Chipper is 15 months and I am just now really working with him more seriously, and Twinkler, though she has mostly learned to be quiet, still wiggles a bit more (way more!) than I'd like. She's in remedial training these days... The more consistent I can be at home, the sooner these two will gain that self-control that they will need to be the happy and obedient children we know they can be!

Out of the Mouths of 3 Year Olds

noreply@blogger.com (Alison) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:00:00 +0000

A few of the things I never wanted to hear my 3 yr old say-

"Oh, Mom, I'm going to go potty on your lap"
"You smell like tow poop*, Mom"
*said like cow poop...

And the phrase that strikes fear into my squeamish heart-

"Oh, no, Mom, I'm gonna puke!"

Technically, she was still 2 when she told me I smelled like cow poop, excuse me, tow poop. I feel the need to explain to you that for some couple of weeks everything smelled liked cow poop. Well, wait, no it didn't, at least I'm pretty sure I didn't, but our property is surrounded by farmland, and there are certain times when a certain scent is in the air. It comes with the territory.

Okay, the puke announcements aren't really funny at the time, but I always end up laughing about it later... like an hour later, when my husband calls home to see how my day is going, or a day or two later, when I'm sharing the story with a sister or a friend from church. Eventually, even the puke proclamation tales are funny. I think they have to be, I mean it's laugh about them or break down and cry, right? I choose to laugh, it's better for me.

I laughed when Snapper, now 16, said something funny, I even remembered to write a few of them down. I chuckled when Quipper delighted us with amusing quips. Razzle and Dazzle entertained us with humorous little-speak for quite some time. I was pretty sure that Sparkler said the zaniest 3 and 4 yr old things ever in the history of funny kids. When Twinkler beamed "I like this tow poop cake!", I knew we were in for another couple years of entertainment.

With little Mr. Chipper only a sweet 15 months old, I'm sure we have plenty sillyness to look forward to, and that delights this Mother's heart.

Enjoy your children! Smile and laugh at the sillyness and remember those times when you feel lost in the serious.